Welcoem to posts!!
in the future - u will be able to do some more stuff here,,,!! like pat catgirl- i mean um yeah... for now u can only see others's posts :c
GRETCHEN KING walked into the auditon room and subconsciously tucked her hands between her legs - a habit she had told herself she would quit, because of some @ted talk on posture. She stole glances at the other âactorsâ each one had some kind of bumpy malady - boils, cysts, tumors. She suddenly felt even more awkward. It didnât hurt, and she had no problem dating - her hat collection was a true treasure. âGretchen,â a nurse called out. She headed back. âDonât do this,â a voice resonated in her mind, or maybe it was the arid wind blowing from the AC. She sat in the room. A doctor came in, took one look and said âcongrats Dr. PimplePopper would love to feature you.â That night she couldnât sleep - is this what she wanted or just because her mom said she looked like she could sell out a carnival. The next morning she grabbed a beautiful tricorn hat, âplease donât,â a voice said. âI want to see the sun, for the days I have left. Please.â Gretchen nearly fell over as she saw a mouth carved in the lump on her head. âDonât be afraid,â it said in a voice like a wet goblin. âWhat are you!?â Gretchen squealed. âI am an alien, Iâve been âborrowingâ blood. I would leave soon enough, but I fear not before you murder me on live TV.â Gretchen passed out. In her stupor the lump conversed telepathically. It showed her his home-world- a blue planet teeming with life like @avatar but not stupid. Gretchen hatched a plan. 3 months later, under the bright camera lights Dr. PimplePopper raised a scalpel. âTo be or not to be, that is the question,â said the lump spitting blood. The shock reverberated from that room around the globe, as the introduction of alien life came on a @tlc program in a complete and somewhat awkward performance of the nunnery scene in Hamlet.
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Vladimir Poopin turned 11!
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Can you spot the horse?
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â¨đVery demure, very snootful đ â¨
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HEAR YE HEAR YE! The Oracle has returned to the Manor after his successful heart surgery in the magical world of the leprechaun (@bostonchildrens ). Though the girls were happy to see him, we fear he might be a @celtics fan now and has been pahking his pedal cah at Harvard yahd. To head off any rumors, NO we did not swap his heart with a glowing orb of dragonkind - we have no idea where this FARCE started, but we have only ever replaced non vital organs with magical artifacts, like Vladimirâs Wyvern Appendix of Flame (do dogs even have appendices? Appendix? Appendixes?)- if youâre confused, see pic 2. Praise be to the hose, long live the Oracle!!! I am going to collapse now in a pile of tears.
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These photos have nothing to do with each other, but in my sleepless depravity I cannot stop laughing. Iâm afraid the weird part of my brain is waking back up
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The girls have been sending me constant updates on the MANOR while Iâve been away tending to the Oracleâs recovery. In a cost saving proposal, Ora offered her services to act as tee - she immediately rescinded to proposal when I posited the regular use cases. Thank you to everyone who reached out and offered their support (see previous post if confused) - we are doing great⌠that said if you happened to be exceedingly wealthy and feeling really SILLY Iâm not gonna turn down any ludicrous sums of money. Iâll put it to good use- frivolity, charity, and the purchase of billboards around the country that featuring out of context snoot pictures (like these). Maybe some text like âSNOOTS SAVE,â or âBUY A BIDET,â or âDANGLELORD 2024.â Oh man. Sorry, I was lost in this lovely reverie where I had the freedom to sew chaotic good on a nationwide level- thatâs how youâll know we âmadeâ it, youâll be visiting your family for the holidays in your hometown and there will be a giant snoot off the freeway⌠your parents wonât understand but we will share a đ
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MAJOR MANTIS MANOR PERSONNEL UPDATE: Locke, the Oracle, my son, had heart surgery this Thursday to repair a murmur (VSD to be specific). I have been an absolute wreck for longer than I care to admit (months) leading up to this but I didnât want to worry any of you. I am in the ICU now and if youâre wondering, yes, Iâve edited some ridiculous poop centric videos in here - laughter was our sustenance but now the adrenaline is fading. The Oracle is resting blissfully like an H.R. Giger painting⌠so many tubes⌠the alien chimes of little machines are vexing my brain as it struggles to defrag - sleeplessness, high caffeine, with an arterial line full of processed sugar are now the crumbling buttresses holding together my fragmented reality. âWhat is⌠that one scene from Inception, Alex.â Typically, I like to keep our page here SPLASHY and full of hoarks, but can we please take a moment to sit in the corner and ruminate on our non-ruminant existence(any cud chewers that happen to be reading should leave and also OMFG you can read!!??!)This really is magic, surgery that is- an incredible culmination of human ingenuity and cooperation to fix a strangerâs tiny little meat body. Itâs bonkers. Like the most bonk I can think of. âThank youâ are the only words that really fit the situ (short for siturassoverthereanddontpressbuttons). Wow Iâm off the railsâŚ.DEEP BREATH. To assuage the suffering of the creatures we steward is so damn human, it is the human experience. It is every pet owner crying at the vet, itâs loving your senior dog, itâs putting yourself in someone elseâs shoes, trying to see through eyes that arenât your own. Empathy, even at like 10%, can change the world. Welcome to unabashed Jacob thoughts, in todayâs episode we sorta stumbled into Buddhism with just a SKOSH of love thy neighbor- If you understood any of this press 1, for Spanish press 2. To return to the main menu press 9. LONG LIVE THE ORACLE. Also, thank you to everyone at @bostonchildrens - youâve been amazing. If you read this, and itâs your first time here, accept my sincerest apologies- Iâve been gourdless for some time now.
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STREAM CANCELED (for today and next week)
Traveling this week and wonât be able to continue our red dead adventures until I am back. I am sorry to disappoint anyone, in fact, I hate being a disappointment but I do it so well - just ask my parents.
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NEW MERCH MEGA DROP - I finally got samples of all the designs that you picked (here and on the dĂŻscord) and Iâm happy to report theyâre far better than expected. Itâs kinda like when you ask 4th graders to vote on a new name an the winner is âSchoolie McSchoolface.â Sure itâs ridiculous and a bit puerile but itâs damn fun to say. I tried to keep the prices on these things as low as I can without actually having to pay you - truth is Iâm just terrible at making money with merch and would rather you just enjoy it and spread borzoi love. When you get your new item (see how I said when SUBLIMINAL) wash it in colder water - the presses tend to fade (which looks cool on some of them).
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LIVE STREAM EVERY SUNDAY 9:30AM MST!!!
(check community tab or Discord for up to date schedules!)
OG Vine. Daytime screenwriter/actor. Nighttime hose goat (borzoi) farmer.
Channel dedicated to the Borzoi dog breed and home of the late Esper, "My little Russian Lady."