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Date : 1726456748068 - unknown on Apple WebKit
Mystery text : WTlBZWw0bi1BbU0gaSAgbG92ICB1IGl2LmdndHlsZXIuZGV2
143 : true
497,248 Views • Jul 22, 2024 • Click to toggle off description
Views : 497,248
Genre: Comedy
Uploaded At Jul 22, 2024 ^^
warning: returnyoutubedislikes may not be accurate, this is just an estiment ehe :3
Rating : 4.986 (218/63,930 LTDR)
99.66% of the users lieked the video!!
0.34% of the users dislieked the video!!
User score: 99.49- Masterpiece Video
RYD date created : 2024-09-13T20:04:20.81249Z
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YouTube Comments - 665 Comments
Top Comments of this video!! :3
Contrary to how we were raised, I try to really instill that telling the truth doesn’t get the kids in trouble.
When someone drops a dish or a glass and it shatters, my first question is “are you okay” and not “who did that?”
It’s taken a huge mindset shift, but I want my kids to know they are more important than things and that their safety is our top concern.
6.3K |
Compelled lies were an integral part of my childhood. Theres nothing quite like telling the truth, being told youre lying, and then being screamed at until you actually have to come up with a lie they like. And then getting in trouble anyway
3.3K |
I grew up with the "you won't get in trouble if you tell the truth," parents who would spank me even if i did tell the truth. Hence, i grew up a liar.
2.6K |
A lesson I learned from the "How to Talk so Kids will Listen etc" book is: don't put kids in a position that invites lies. For example, if you see your kid's face is covered in cake, don't keep asking them if they ate cake. You KNOW they ate cake. So just say: I see you ate cake. Did you know that is something you're not supposed to do?
This approach works like a charm when talking to my daughter. She tends to freely admit all kinds of transgressions. In return, I talk her through why something is not okay, and what we can do to keep it from happening.
For example, I might explain she could get a tummy ache from eating so much cake, and tell her that I'm disappointed because I was looking forward to eating cake for dessert that evening. But now there's no dessert left.
I might ask her if she would be able to resist eating cake next time, or if she would prefer me to store it somewhere out of sight from now on. And then we'll try whichever option she picks, and we'll see how that works in the future.
This approach teaches her to reflect on her current skills, and on what they will hopefully look like when she is an adult.
That timeline is always our focus: it's okay if you can't do something right now, but we do need to talk about it and work on it so that you can do it when you're an adult.
Our approach is always explicitly: making mistakes is human, and even stupid mistakes happen to everyone. It's what you do afterwards that matters.
Good people can recognize and accept that they made a mistake, they can address that mistake without blaming others or feeling like a bad person, and they work towards reducing the likelihood of making that mistake again in the future.
2.4K |
For me lying was a survival mechanism. My dad literally told me if I loved something he was right to take it away. So lying doesn't really upset me. Sometimes you have too.
756 |
This. I habitually lied as a child because no one believed I couldn't hear as a kid, and so to me, the only way to keep myself safe from any adult was to become invisible and become a more effective liar. Two hearing aids, a CPTSD diagnosis, and many many years later, its still very hard for me to emotionally regulate myself when I have to tell an adult a hard truth. I'm so glad you are talking about this.
454 |
DHS pressured my kids into saying things were happening in our house because they were convinced we were coaching my kids. So they pressured them with two police officers until they got the answers they wanted. This lead to a 13 month case because things kept changing in what my kids told the worker. And we weren't allowed to talk to the kids about anything involving the case so no one in my house had any clue what was going on. It wasn't until the case was closed that my kids finally came to me and told me that the case workers didn't believe them when they said nothing was happening and they kept asking and asking and asking and saying that you can go to jail for lying. So the kids thought that if they just told them what they wanted to hear that they would leave them alone. I was and still am so livid for my poor kiddos!
135 |
I've done this as a kid. My mom was emotionally abusive in dozens of small ways, one of which was that she thought I needed more sleep than I actually did, so she made me take afternoon naps until I was like 7. And if we had something fun planned in the evening, her rule was always that I had to sleep during my nap or else I wouldn't get to do whatever it was. She would check on me every 10-20 minutes for the 1-2 hr naps and if she saw that I was resting but awake she would yell at me to go to sleep. One day there was something particularly exciting to me that was scheduled for that evening, I've since forgotten what it was, but as usual I was just not tired and could not for the life of me fall asleep during my nap. Add to that the issue that everybody has experienced, that one of the easiest ways to NOT fall asleep is to anxiously tell yourself that you need to fall asleep. So because I desperately wanted to go to the event and because I wanted nothing more than to please my mom, I decided to fake being asleep when she came in to check on me. I wasn't very good at it (yet, I ended up pro level for obvious reasons) so she touched my eyelid to test me. I involuntarily blinked and she began screaming at me that I'm a liar, that both herself and God hate liars, that I'm a horrible child and that as punishment for lying she was gonna make me stay home from the event. When I tell you that my little heart was crushed...
297 |
I grew up with an alcoholic parent. Protective & compelled lies were a big part of my childhood. I learned at a pretty young age that if I acted in a specific way, I wouldn't be yelled at & punished, so I'd hide anything about myself that didn't fit that caricature she had of me. I'm the oldest of three, & I'd often fall into compelled lies to protect my younger siblings. The amount of times she'd line the 3 of us up & ask "who did [x]?" is up there. A lot of the times, I'd lie and claim responsibility so we all wouldn't get in trouble. Of course, a lot of the time the things she'd get mad at us for were her own fault, but she wouldn't recall it because of the drinking. Made more sense to blame the kids.
All that to say, kids don't lie without reason. If your kid is lying a lot, maybe take a step back & ask yourself why they're lying. Sure, there should be consequences for misbehavior, but just getting mad at the lying doesn't do much. In my case, it just made me a better liar.
237 |
God that last one i felt in my soul.... My mother was a raging narc and she would go into my room to 'find things id been stealing'. (I never did)
She found a checkbook when i was in 5th grade summer school and sat me at the table like it was an interrogation. She demanded to me to tell her who i stole it from....then i proceeded to tell her it was a FAKE checkbook...for the finance class i was taking...in summer school...that SHE signed me up for....it was literally to practice how to write in a checkbook for projects related to it in class.
I was still grounded for "talking back."
But there were many times where shed yell at me for something and id just accept the punishment and say i did it while she yelled JUST SO SHE WOULD STOP. Otherwise itd be a 2hour interrogation until i "admitted my wrongs". If i argued i was punished regardless.
I went NC and she never saw me again as she passed away. Respect your kids, people.
617 |
I’ve always told my daughter that NO MATTER what it is she can ALWAYS tell me the truth. I might not like what she’s told me but that we can work with the truth and that we can’t work with a lie. She’s 18 and out on her own. She’s called me in some sticky situations and it made me feel good to know she trusted me enough as a parent to call me first because no matter what, I will always have her best interest at heart, unlike other people.
221 |
Ugh, the lie to get someone to leave you alone because they won't stop accusing you despite you not having done something. So many times. So much hate for that situation.
84 |
"To vex you?¿" sounds EXACTLY like something Abbie would say. 😂😆
630 |
Lying was such a big deal in my house growing up. It was a major no no. No matter what. But telling the truth also received punishment.
I watched a lot of educational shows that said telling the truth won't get you punished. You'll still face the consequences of your actions, but you won't be punished. I was beat with a belt whether I told the truth or lied. So I learned that I was going to get in trouble no matter what, so I learned how to lie very well to get out of trouble.
I still struggle now as an adult to not lie when it's not needed. But sometimes I go into a self protective meltdown especially if I get overwhelmed and super stressed.
134 |
One thing I have learned as a teacher is that compounding a misbehavior with a lie is not helpful. Don’t put them in a position to lie. If you know they did something just be straight with them instead of giving them the opportunity to lie. You can get to the root of the issue much easier if you start with the premise that you know what happened.
38 |
Lying can sometimes protect our well being. Sometimes it’s just plain stupid.
440 |
My mom ALWAYS implied "once I find out you lied I'm never going to believe you again." Her boyfriend was incredibly verbally/emotionally/mentally abusive and we were terrified of him. We had to lie all the time to not get yelled at, and even then we'd probably get yelled at. I still vividly remember the gut wrenching feelings of dread when we accidentally did something "bad". Like when I borrowed his son's bike to go out and thought it got stolen (we found it hidden nearby but the panic was immense, so bad I put myself in a dangerous situation to get the bike back), when we accidentally broke his son's DS (I hid it in my room for years and we swore to never speak of it), and many other situations. It became natural to say whatever put us in the least trouble. Still with immense feelings of guilt and shame, thinking I was a horrible person, something that I'm still working to undo years later. I've already told my mom that I felt like I had to lie about things in order to survive. I finally don't care as much whether or not she believes me now. It still hurts but I know I'm a good person who's always doing my best, and I'm finally learning to speak my truth even if I'm scared it won't go well. It's so freeing ✨
57 |
I hate lying, and I was a compulsive liar as a kid. It's because my parents treated me like property and not as a human. Even things they were concerned about my well-being were handled with a lot of control and punishment and no real explanation besides "when you have kids you'll understand some day" instead of just trying to explain it.
55 |
Then there's lying that's "actually the truth but not one that a disregulated parent is willing to accept"
49 |
@cathipalmer8217
1 month ago
When I was a teacher, I recognized three classifications of lies: - lies to get yourself out of trouble - lies to get your friend out of trouble - lies to get someone else in trouble. These were not treated the same.
9.1K |