Welcoem to posts!!

ADHD Dude
Posted 2 days ago

I don't entirely agree with this parent. I don't think they"'ve "messed up"; rather, I think that they initially listened to a lot of "feed good" parenting advice that they later came to realize doesn't work for them.

The parenting social media content that gets the most shares and engagement is not the content that's factual or evidence-based information; instead, it's the content that makes people feel good.

I have found that, in particular, the millennial generation of parents has been misled into believing that the authoritative parenting style is "bad" and results in adverse outcomes, whereas being a gentle/respectful/connected/compassionate parent means you abdicate your parental authority and treat your child as your partner in parenting.

This viral "feel good" parenting advice contradicts decades of research data and has no evidence to back it up. Still, because it is presented in ways that evoke positive emotions, it resonates very well with parents who tend to make decisions based on emotions rather than data and wisdom passed down over generations.

ADHD Dude content is not designed to pander to parents' emotions but for families who want evidence-informed information to help their children reach their full potential.

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ADHD Dude
Posted 6 days ago

{Please make sure to follow the Trip Camp Instagram account: @adhdtripcampnj]

I started Trip Camp in 2017 for the families I worked with in my private practice and school-year programs. It was a small, humble beginning, but thanks to social media, 2019 was the first year families from other states started coming to camp. I remember feeling both excited and nervous about this new chapter. Still, the kids' and their families' support and enthusiasm made it all worthwhile.

Fast forward to 2024, and Trip Camp has blossomed into a two-location venture, with camps in Margate, New Jersey, and Columbus, Ohio. This summer, we are thrilled to welcome four international families from Scotland, England, Ecuador, and Puerto Rico. It's humbling that many campers have chosen to spend 3 or 4 summers with us.

I am immensely grateful to our Camp Directors, Scott (Columbus), who completed his first summer, and Bob (Margate), who completed his third summer. Directing Trip Camp takes tremendous time and energy, and finding people with the skill set, energy, and dedication to make camp happen is nearly impossible.

Most importantly, I want to express my heartfelt gratitude to all our camp families. Your trust and support mean the world to us. I am deeply touched that you would take the time out of your busy lives to travel to Columbus and Margate so your sons could participate in Trip Camp. When I started camp eight years ago, I never imagined that we would be where we are today, and it's all thanks to your unwavering support.

Thank you to all the guys and their families for a great summer.

With gratitude,
Ryan

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ADHD Dude
Posted 1 week ago

Parents are doing their best with the resources and information available to them at any given moment.

In recent years, social media has influenced many parents to believe that compassion means giving up their authority, not guiding their child, and constantly acting as a therapist (what I call "playing armchair therapist.")

This approach, where every minor upset or discomfort is analyzed and discussed, can inadvertently strengthen negative emotions and hinder children from moving on naturally. In other words, it denies kids the opportunity to develop resilience and cognitive flexibility.

When your child interacts with people outside your home, the world may not show the same empathy as you do. The outside world will not want to process your child's feelings or show compassion if your child treats others poorly.

The world won't always cater to your child's feelings.

It's essential to decide whether you want to prepare them to function in the world or if you want to protect their feelings so they receive the message that their feelings always take precedence, regardless of how they treat others.


By doing less, you will be doing more for your child by helping them navigate a world that will not always cater to them.

Your child will inevitably transition into adulthood whether you're ready or not. The decisions you make as a parent now will significantly influence the kind of adult they become.

ADHD Dude is here for parents who strive to raise resilient, thoughtful, empathetic, responsible, and kind adults, regardless of diagnosis.

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ADHD Dude
Posted 1 week ago

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ADHD Dude
Posted 2 weeks ago

When parents share that their child is in counseling for ADHD, I empathetically inquire about the goals of the therapy. Often, they mention that the therapist serves as a "sounding board" for the child or a "person they can talk to".

It's important to recognize that *talk therapy and play therapy are not evidence-based treatments for ADHD. As a licensed mental health professional, I truly believe it's crucial to prioritize evidence-based practices for treating ADHD.

Your child's ADHD diagnosis does not mean they need to be in therapy. You don't need to pay someone to serve as a "sounding board" or support for your child. Ask yourself who are adults invested in your child that would be happy to serve in this role.

Given that counseling is not an evidence-based recommended treatment for kids with ADHD, then what is your expectation as to how counseling is going to help your child improve their behavior, executive function, or social skills?

If your child is in counseling, have you discussed goals for the counseling?

Have you asked the counselor if they know the American Academy of Pediatrics ADHD treatment recommendations?

Have you inquired as to their training/education in ADHD?

Dr. Ortiz is a child and adolescent psychologist with a specialized focus on the treatment of anxiety. He is an upcoming ADHD Guys podcast guest and the creator of Independence Therapy, a treatment I'm excited about as I think it has great potential.

I wanted to share Dr. Ortiz's quote here because I believe it's accurate.

*To see the evidence, go to effectivechildtherapy.org and type "ADHD" in the search bar.

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ADHD Dude
Posted 3 weeks ago

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ADHD Dude
Posted 1 month ago

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗻'𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 "𝗟𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆."
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝗼𝗻'𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱 "𝗟𝗮𝗿𝗿𝘆."

I met Larry because he attended the day camp I was running at the school where I worked. Coincidentally, he lived in our neighborhood, and he and my son became friends as they were a year apart in age.

Larry would make a lot of "noise" (my term for arguing or complaining) when faced with a non-preferred task. He resorted to learned helplessness to get adults to do things he could do independently. He had a propensity to be inflexible and struggled with perspective-taking (understanding how he's coming across to others.)

Larry's parents were wonderful people who decided not to respond to his noise or accommodate his learned helplessness or inflexibility. They required him to persevere through non-preferred tasks, no matter how much he whined or complained. Most importantly, they did so with "affective calmness" (staying calm when you don't feel calm inside).

Despite his significant learning disabilities, Larry was able to complete a two-year program at a community college. Today, Larry works for a small company that optimizes websites.

I attribute Larry's success as a young adult to his parent's understanding that they could not accommodate his "noise," learned helplessness, or inflexibility. They did not protect him from experiencing temporary distress when something was challenging or non-preferred. They gave him ample independence when he was younger despite his learning challenges.

Larry's parents set him up for success and to be employable, which should be every parent's long-term goal for their child.

Many parents of kids with ADHD are not doing this because they are misled by lousy advice designed to make them feel good at the expense of helping their child reach their full potential.

Suppose you want to help your child become an independent, employable young adult who feels good about themselves. In that case, the content here, at the ADHD Dude YouTube channel and membership site, will help you reach that goal.

ADHD Dude content is designed to help you help your child achieve the same success as Larry. Learn more at adhddude.com

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ADHD Dude
Posted 1 month ago

Coming back to where it all started in 2018...

If you are local to the Philadelphia area, please sign up for the Philadelphia-area mailing list to be notified about upcoming in-person programs for kids and parents.

I look forward to connecting with you in person.

www.adhddudephila.com

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ADHD Dude
Posted 1 month ago

Read what parents & professionals have to say at the ADHD Dude Google Business page: Read what parents & professionals have to say: bit.ly/adhddudereviews

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ADHD Dude
Posted 1 month ago

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲, 𝗽𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗗𝗛𝗗 𝗗𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗠𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 𝗦𝗶𝘁𝗲.

𝗜𝗻 𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗗𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻:
-How to shift your home from "high giving/low expectations" to helping your child feel useful.
-How to create daily expectations for helping around the house and behavioral expectations) for your child to earn their "currency."
-How to respond to "noise," learned helplessness, and emotional manipulation that may occur when you place age-appropriate expectations on your child.
-How to shift from reactive language to "language of accountability" to teach your child they are in control of their choices.

For families new to the ADHD Dude Membership Site, we recommend starting with the Scaffolding Better Behavior course, followed by Creating Daily Expectations. From there, you can watch the courses in any order you prefer.

What parents & professionals have to say:bit.ly/adhddudereviews

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