*curmudgeon* /kɚˈmʌʤən/ _noun_
1. an irascible, cantankerous person full of stubborn ideas
2. a person (especially an old man) who is easily annoyed or angered and who often complains
3. an antisocial misanthrope; a person who dislikes other people.
*Grumbly Curmudgeon Woodworks* /ˈgrʌmbəli kɚˈmʌʤən ˈwʊdˌwɚks/ _proper noun_
1. A custom furniture maker hidden away in the outskirts of Kansas City. No. You, personally, cannot buy any of his furniture.
So be sure (not) to visit Grumbly Curmudgeon Woodworks, where our motto is, "How did you get into my shop!?"