“I tell ya, life isn’t easy. My psychiatrist told me I’m going crazy…”
“Here he is. Just now finished 22 sensational weeks in a garage in Newark.”
“You eat when you fly? You’re an animal!”
“It means... I don’t take shit from no one.”
Rodney had President Reagan laughing up a storm at “The Stars Salute the President”.
“Hey mister, I’m on my break.”
“No respect. Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me, ‘Basement?’”
“What do you think, you’re tough? I’ll show you tough.”
“Terrible neighborhood. The first day I moved in…”
“I’m sorry, I’m all alone here.”
“I tell ya, I’m all right now, but last week I was in rough shape...”
𝐕𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞: Are you trying to see through my clothes? 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐲: I’m trying but it’s tough.
“I tell ya, my kid, he drives me nuts...”
How To Be an Auto Mechanic
Dean Martin tells one of his favorite jokes of Rodney’s
“Looks good on you though.”
“When I was a kid, I was poor. My rich aunt died. In her will, I owed her 20 dollars.”
“I tell ya, my family, nothing but losers...”
“What a dumb family I got, ya know. Last week I looked up my family tree. Two dogs were using it.”
“Biff, this is Rodney. Rodney, this is goodbye.”
“Johnny Carson... that’s where he comes from, Nebraska. And I tell ya...”
“I tell ya, my wife, the way she throws away money, it’s ridiculous…”
“Everytime I set the alarm, my wife turns it off. She says what I earn, it don’t pay to get up.”
𝐖𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫: How would you like your steak, sir? 𝐑𝐨𝐝𝐧𝐞𝐲: Big.
“What a neighborhood, I tell ya. No, it’s bad over there...”
“And I was an ugly kid, too. I told my old man he never took me to the zoo…”
“For years my parents sent me to a child psychiatrist. The kid didn’t help me at all.”
“I don’t get no respect from anyone. When I had diabetes my wife kept sending me candy grams.”
“I mean, she can’t cook at all. She made chocolate mousse. An antler got stuck in my throat.”
Your week presented by Rodney Dangerfield.
“I’ll have a double scotch and soda. Bring the whole bottle and leave it right here...”
“Last week I saw my doctor…”
“I was an ugly kid, too. I was so ugly, my mother breastfed me through a straw.”
“Last week, I told my wife I need a home improvement loan…”
“I tell ya, with my wife, I never know what’s coming next...”
“My whole family has been mixed up…”
“I hate small food, ya know.”
“My old man, he didn’t help either…”
May I check your game board?
“A lot of pressure, a lot of pressure.”
“I tell ya, my wife isn’t too smart. One night, she went out, some guy stole the car…”
“When I thought I was sick, my doctor told me to take plenty of liquids, get a lot of rest…”
So fresh.
“You got to take care of your health. I’ll tell you what I do...”
Rodney Dangerfield literally knocks ’em dead (Animation by Chris Guy)
“I got a crazy doctor. He told me to keep smoking if I want to stop chewing gum.”
Uh oh... people.
Rodney Dangerfield’s Best Gambling Jokes
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Official YouTube channel of the late great comedy legend Rodney Dangerfield, known for his iconic line “I don’t get no respect!”.
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